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20 April 2011 @ 03:06 pm
Title:The Only Thing I Fear is Fear Itself.
Author: breathedeep222
Summary:Frank's dad left when he was eight years old. His Mom thinks it's Frank's fault and never hesitates to tell him so. The only physical contact he has with her is when she's hurting him. No one cares about Frank Iero. Except for his terrifying homicidal neighbor.
Disclaimer:Not true! SO. NOT. TRUE.
Author Notes:This story is really...weird. And a little fucked up. It is also based VERY VERY loosely on the comic Johnny The Homicidal Maniac. Which is an amazing hilarious comic that is nothing like the plot of this story. The only things I took from it were that Gerard doesn't age or ever get caught, and the beginning scene with Frank. Everything else is completely unrelated. This was suppose to just be a parody, but it didn't work out that way.
warnings:Murder, minor character death, cursing, underage kissing. Lame title thought up in a rush.
Word Count: 7,361

Frank was curled up in the corner of his bed, holding Sir Twist tightly in his arms. They had just moved into this house and Frank was terrified. This was a brand new house to him which meant it could be filled with ghosts and monsters of all types. And what if the aliens got mad at him for moving and finally took him onto their spaceship?

Frank let out a squeak and pressed himself impossibly closer to the corner when he heard a scraping sound outside of his window. He was paralyzed with fear as he watched a dark shape open his window and climb inside room. The dark shape stepped on one of Frank’s toy cars and slipped and fell on the floor.

“Shit!” The shape pushed its dark hair from its face and glared up at the little boy who was huddled on the bed and staring at him with wide eyes.

“Don’t your parents tell you to pick up your toys when you’re done with them?” The man stood up and made a move to wipe his hands on his pants before stopping abruptly.

Frank shook in fear as he realized the man’s hands were covered in blood. There was also blood shrieked on his pale face, extra bright against his pale skin and dark clothing.

“Hey, do you have any disinfectant?” Gerard asked as he wandered into the bathroom that was attached to Frank’s room.

Frank didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t talk or move because he was so terrified. The only thing he could do was clutch Sir Twist as hard as possible and hope the stranger didn’t hurt him. Frank desperately tried to remember the prayers they taught him in school, but unfortunately he hadn’t ever paid much attention.

The man exited the bathroom, face and hands now clean, and stood at the foot of Frank’s bed, observing him carefully.

The man came closer and squatted down directly in front of Frank. “I’m Gerard. What’s your name?”

“Are you going to take me to Hell?” Frank asked in a weak voice.

Gerard’s eyes widened in shock. “What? Where did you get an idea like that from?”

Frank raised his stuffed bunny to cover his face and peeked at Gerard from over its head. “I can’t remember my prayers and I’m scared and I need them. I never paid attention and now you’re going to hurt me and I’m going to Hell for not praying.”

Gerard’s mouth dropped open in shock before he gained control of himself and closed it. He sat down on the floor and crossed his legs. “Well, I am no expert on religious matters, but I am extremely knowledgeable about the topic of death. That said, you certainly do not have to die in order to go to Hell.”

Frank was still scared of the man in front of him, but so far he hadn’t hurt him and what Gerard just said confused Frank.

“Yes you do. My teacher said when you die your soul either goes to Heaven or Hell. If you’re good you go to Heaven, and if you’re bad you go to Hell. My teacher says I’m bad because I forget my prayers and can’t sit still.

Gerard laughed at this and revealed a row of small, discolored teeth. Frank was relieved because even though the man was scary at least he wasn’t a vampire.

“Trust me,” Gerard said as he stood up again, “there are many, many, MANY, more things you need to do in order to be a bad person.” Gerard gave Frank a big smile.

Frank jumped and let out a noise when Gerard reached a hand toward him.

“Relax. I just want to see your bunny.”

Frank didn’t want to let go of his toy, but he also didn’t want to make Gerard angry. He handed his bunny over with a whimper.

“Aww, he’s adorable,” Gerard said as he held the bunny up to exam it. “What’s his name?”

“Sir Twist,” Frank answered quietly.

“Sir Twist?”

Frank nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! His super power is twisting bad guys with his ears!” Talking about his favorite toy always made Frank happy and able to pull him out of his shell.

Gerard looked highly impressed. “That’s actually pretty interesting.” He lifted a hand and ran a finger over the bunny’s belly. “You’re a cute rabbit. Yes you are!”

Frank couldn’t help but giggle a little bit. Gerard was still scary, but he hadn’t tried to hurt Frank yet and was acting nice to Sir Twist.

“Well then!” Gerard exclaimed while giving the bunny back to Frank. “I should probably go…hey. You never told me what your name was.”


“Okay Frank. Well, I should get going. I need to clean my saw. I don’t like reusing a bloody saw. Goodnight!” Gerard walked back over to the window and climbed out. A second later he popped his head back in, smiling at Frank charmingly. “By the way, I’m your new neighbor!” Gerard left again, leaving Frank a shivering lump of fear on the bed.


Frank was happily climbing up the tree in his backyard when he heard a ripping noise. Frank stopped his climbing and looked down at the toy that was in his hand. His favorite stuffed animal, and best friend, Sir Twist, had a huge tear across his body. Frank quickly climbed back down the tree, examining the toy once he got to the bottom. He felt tears welling in his eyes as he saw stuffing falling out of the huge tear in his bunny. He ran towards his back door, stopping in his tracks when it swung open and his mom was peering down at him.

“Frank! There you are. It’s time for dinner, come inside.”

“Mom, Sir Twi-“

“Leave that ugly thing outside. You’re ten years old, you’re too old to be so attached to that thing.”

“But mo-“

“Let’s go Frank!”

She grabbed him roughly by his arm and dragged him inside. She snatched the toy out of his hand and threw it in the backyard before shutting the door.

Ever since Frank’s dad had left, his mom had gotten meaner and meaner. He never imagined she would treat his best friend so badly though. Frank couldn’t do anything about it and had to follow his mom to the dinner table. He glanced at the back door while his mom pulled him into the kitchen, promising to go back for his bunny when he was done.


Frank ran down the hall to his room, hearing the words his mom was yelling down the hallway. Whenever she started drinking things from the cabinet Frank was banned from going in, she would get angrier then usual. She would tell Frank that it was his fault his dad left, and occasionally throw things at him.

Frank hated when she was like this, and always ran away and locked himself in his room. A few times she used the key and took him out of his room to yell some more, but usually she was content to kick the door and storm off.

Frank threw open the door of his room and shut it behind him, breathing heavily. He blinked furiously and wiped at his eyes. Frank was afraid of a lot of things, but his mom was one of the worst. He went to his bed that was covered in blue sheets and surrounded by posters of different bands he liked. His dad had left in the middle of an argument with his mother one day and just never came back, so all his stuff was left behind. His mother broke most of it or threw it away, but one thing Frank was able to keep was his father’s music collection. Frank desperately wanted a guitar but his mom wouldn’t buy him one. Frank thought that if he became good at music his father would want to come back.

Frank laid down in his bed and curled up, attempting to block out the sounds of his Mom’s shouting. He realized he didn’t even have his bunny for comfort and this upset him even more. He couldn’t go back downstairs to get it, not when his Mom was still like this. The idea of spending the whole night by himself broke the rest of Frank’s resistance and the tears poured freely.

Frank sat up suddenly when he heard a knock on his window. He didn’t see anything outside besides the night sky and the outline of the trees. He slowly got up and crept over to the window, peering out. He glanced down and something caught his eyes. Frank’s heart sped up as he opened his window and leaned out.

A huge smile appeared on Frank’s face as he saw what was on the ground. There, right beneath his window, was Sir Twist. Frank picked him up and saw red thread that contrasted with the bunny’s brown fur where the rip had been earlier. A note was also tied to Sir Twist’s ear. In what looked like blue paint were the words ‘Next time be more careful.’

Frank looked out across the yard to the house next door to his. Frank had always been afraid of that house and the man that lived in it. He knew Gerard did bad things and didn’t even want to imagine most of them. Gerard also crept into his house every now and then to borrow something when he ran out. Even with all of this, Frank was not nearly as afraid of Gerard as he knew he should be.

“Thank you,” Frank called quietly into the yard before shutting the window and retreating to his bed.


Gerard was sitting in his living room when he heard a strange sound. It took him a minute to realize the noise was his door bell. He never got visitors, so he was really quite surprised as to who could possibly be at the door.

Gerard opened the door slightly and looked through the crack. Not in a million years would he expect what was waiting for him on the other side.
Frank Iero, the boy that had moved in next door five years ago, was standing on Gerard’s porch with blood dripping down his face.

“Can I please, please come inside?”

Gerard was so completely stunned that he actually stepped back and let Frank inside. Frank ran in like someone was chasing him and leaned against the wall next to the door with a sigh.

Gerard had no idea what was going on. He knew he was insane, but this was a whole type of other crazy. Gerard knew that even though Frank eventually found a love for horror movies as he got older, he continued to be afraid of Gerard’s house and always crossed the street instead of passing it. So for Frank to be willingly standing in Gerard’s house, he knew meant something had to be very very wrong.

“Um…” Gerard said oh so eloquently.

Frank snorted and wiped at his face with the back of his hand, grimacing at the blood that came away. Frank was in his regular middle school uniform, plain white button down shirt and black slacks. Except now his shirt was rumpled and Frank was breathing heavily as though he were out of breath.

“Fuck.” Frank looked at his hand one more time before glancing at Gerard. “Look, I know you have no reason to let me be in here, but I only need like, 20 minutes, half an hour tops. I just needed to go somewhere they wouldn’t follow me.”

“Who’s following you?”

Frank pointed at Gerard’s window. Gerard pulled the dusty curtain aside and looked out, spotting a group of four boys dressed similarly to Frank standing at the fence that surrounded the house. They were staring at the house and talking to each other as though they were deciding if it was worth coming inside.

Gerard opened the door and ignored Frank’s protests. He stepped outside and leaned against the railing of his porch.

“Hey!” He called to get the boys’ attention. “Are you guys selling girl scout cookies? Because pre teen boy is my favorite flavor!”

The boys all looked at each other with matching expressions of fear and ran off.

Gerard stepped back inside and found Frank looking at him in shock.

“Thanks,” he said quietly.

Gerard nodded slowly, still a little dumbfounded with this whole situation.

“Um, you should clean up.” Gerard thought about the bathroom that was covered in blood and assorted weapons from earlier and grimaced. “The kitchen’s that way.” He pointed to the door on the right after the small foyer.

Frank nodded and picked up the black backpack he had dropped and headed in the direction.

After a minute of standing there awkwardly, Gerard decided to just follow. He wasn’t sure what else to do in this situation, considering he’d never been in one like this.

He found Frank standing at the sink, washing at the blood on his face and cursing. He ripped off a piece of paper towel and gingerly dried his face, wincing and cursing some more when he dabbed at his nose.

Gerard cocked his head to the side curiously as he watched him. “Does getting punched in the nose hurt a lot?”

Frank looked at him and snorted. “What the fuck do you think?” He cringed and ducked his head quickly. “I. Um. Sorry, that was rude.”

Ah. There was some of that fear Gerard was used to.

“It’s okay. I guess it was a dumb question. So,” Gerard leaned against the counter in front of Frank, “who were those guys?”

Frank shrugged and fiddled with his backpack strap. He still had his head down, and his shaggy brown hair was falling into his eyes.

“They go to my school. They don’t like me very much. Today they decided to show me exactly how much. End of story.”

Gerard didn’t say anything and Frank looked up again, before glancing away quickly.

“I guess since you got rid of them, I can leave now. Um. Sorry for disturbing you. I won’t do it again. I swear.” Frank walked past Gerard and toward the doorway that led back out into the foyer.

“You don’t have to leave.” Gerard couldn’t exactly pinpoint what made him say it. He supposed it partly had to do with knowing all to well what it felt like to be ostracized. It also could have been that having Frank in his house had been the most exciting thing that had happened to him all week.

Frank froze and slowly turned his head to look at Gerard. “Are you sure?”

Gerard felt himself nodding slowly. “It’s fine. I’m not busy. You should stay, just in case they come back. Also, it’s not like I haven’t intruded on you enough times.”

Frank nodded and stayed where he was, shifting back and forth on his feet awkwardly.

Gerard walked past him and into the living room, their footsteps the only sound in the whole house. The rooms where Gerard did his…work, were deep underground, so even if anything was going on at the moment, Frank wouldn’t be able to hear it.

Gerard sat down on the couch and waved his hand around. “You can um, just, do whatever. Don’t go upstairs though.”

Frank nodded again and put his bag on the floor next to the couch. Gerard reached over to the end table beside him and grabbed his sketchpad. He flipped to a random page and started doodling as Frank wandered around the living room, observing everything around him.

Frank mostly stared at Gerard’s paintings, but he also spent some time going through the comic books and other random things Gerard had left around. Gerard eventually was able to stop watching him and be absorbed in his drawing. It was then that Gerard heard a sharp intake of breath and heard a ‘thump’ noise.

His head shot up and he saw Frank sprawled over the ottoman that was in front of the armchair.

“Are you okay? What happened?” Gerard ask as he stood up and walked closer.

Frank looked up at him with fear evident in his face and he jumped up quickly. “I-I’m fine. I should go.” With that Frank grabbed his bag and ran to the door. Gerard stood there in shock as he heard it slam shut behind him.

After the shock wore off some, Gerard looked around to see what had scared Frank so much. There were plenty of things that would terrify anybody in Gerard’s house, but his living room was actually free of them so he didn’t understand what could have put that look on Frank’s face.

Gerard looked around and spotted the white sheet hanging half off his old liquor cabinet. He didn’t use that stuff anymore, but he hadn’t had it in him to get rid of everything completely.

Gerard realized that must have been the last thing Frank had looked at. He sighed as it all started fitting together. Gerard heard the shouting that came from Frank’s house and the bruises he would sometimes see on Frank when he came into his room.

Gerard clenched his fist in anger and adjusted the sheet before storming off in the direction of the entrance for the basement.


Frank was sitting on his bed, blasting Black Flag, knowing his mom was passed out cold for the night and nothing could possibly wake her. He was aimlessly watching his ceiling fan spinning while running his soft tie through his fingers.

He hated the dress code at his school. It completely prevented him from looking anywhere close to how he wanted to. Frank broke his gaze from the fan to look at all the pictures of different musicians he had up and sighed wistfully. Wishing wasn’t going to get him anywhere so he turned his head back to the fan.

Frank hadn’t moved from his spot on his back on the bed since he got back from Gerard’s. The most movement he’d done was when his mom started banging on his door. But even then all he did was reach behind him to grab Sir Twist from his pillow and squeeze his eyes shut, hoping she’d give up easily tonight and leave. Oddly enough, Frank got his wish, and he was able to stay right where he was for the rest of the night.

Spinning, spinning, spinning, spin-

He was broken from his thoughts by a strange scraping noise at his window. Frank wasn’t at all alarmed since he knew what it was. He’d been hearing the same noises since he was ten years old, and they’d always came with good things.

This thought made Frank trace the piece of thread that ran across his bunny’s body. Some nights, seeing that line of thread was as comforting as the toy itself. He knew at twelve years he was too old for the stupid thing, but it was the one thing that Frank had loved with all his heart that hadn’t left him. Technically only his dad was gone, but what his Mom became was so much worse. Now she was just an outline of the smiling, happy, loving mother Frank could scarcely remember.

Frank sighed and pushed himself up, heading over to his window. He opened it and a loud gasp escaped his throat at what he found. Gerard often left things at his window, drawings, comics, things like that. But nothing prepared him for what he found now.

Lying there in the dry, yellowed grass laid a worn guitar. Frank leaned out and picked it up gently, half expecting it to disappear into smoke once he touched it. When it didn’t, Frank pulled it inside and gently ran his hands over it. Its body was scratched and worn, but it still seemed to be usable. Frank ran his fingers over the strings and trembled at the sound the perfectly tuned strings made. Frank finally realized the note that was attached to it and took it off before reading it.

I don’t touch those anymore. Ever. I swear.

Frank looked out into his backyard, at the broken down, eerie place that housed the man Frank knew he should be terrified of.

If Frank closed his eyes really tightly, and thought really hard, he could vaguely remember the happy faces of his parents, together and in love for a few seconds before the image vanished.

He didn’t have to try at all to picture a stark white face, long greasy looking black hair, big hazel eyes and tiny, discolored baby teeth.

Frank ran his hands over the guitar again and smiled.


Frank laughed from his spot on Gerard’s counter, kicking his feet as he repeatedly strummed a chord to end his song. He had just made up a completely ridiculous song about Gerard sitting at the table painting. Gerard had looked up from his painting by the end and laughed with him, a smile brightening his face and making it look beautiful.

Frank glanced away quickly and blushed at his own thoughts. He quickly started to play another song, black hair with red streaks falling into his face. Frank’s mother had finally given up bothering to act like she gave a crap about him and just sent him to the local public high school. Frank was thrilled. It meant he could finally dress how he had always wanted and he wasted no time in doing so. His hair was longer now, and he could dye it any color he pleased. Only six months into his freshmen year it had already had blue, purple, and red streaks in it. He knew dying his hair so often wasn’t good for it, but he figured if it was only a few pieces it wasn’t as bad.

It was a regular afternoon for Frank. Once he was able to play without adjusting his fingers ever minute, playing guitar at Gerard’s house when he got home from school had been a regular occurrence. Well, unless Gerard was…busy. Then he would always hang up a come back later sign for Frank that usually included some form of a monster doodled on it. Frank never came back on those days and Gerard never mentioned it.

Frank shook his head of those thoughts, concentrating on the new Misfits song he was trying to learn. He smiled and glanced up when he realized Gerard had started unconsciously humming the tune under his breath.

Frank could always tell that Gerard probably wasn’t a half bad singer and was dying to hear him sing for real. Frank always firmly pushed that idea out of his mind though. The first and only time Frank had asked him if he sang, Gerard had taken on a look that chilled him to the bone and told him to mind his own business. Frank had managed to stay at Gerard’s house for another half hour before he was shaking so hard he couldn’t even play guitar anymore. He stayed clear of Gerard’s house for two days after that.

That incident didn’t stop Frank from enjoying these times when Gerard was so caught up in his painting that he didn’t notice the sounds he was making. Gerard was never so involved to start singing words, but the humming was enough for Frank.

He stopped playing and just sat watching Gerard. Watching the black hair that never seemed washed, the small pink mouth that Frank had to resist staring at for too long and the amazing eyes that he didn’t even bother trying to look away from. Frank supposed he should feel creepy for thinking about Gerard this way, but he also knew something about Gerard wasn’t normal.

He never seemed to change. His hair never seemed to grow, he stayed the same weight, his nails stayed the same, and most importantly, he never seemed to age. At all. Frank spent a lot of time observing Gerard, he was sure he would have seen some sign, anything, that would show Gerard changing. But he never did. Gerard stayed his same dorky, beautiful self day in and day out.

Frank blushed again at his thoughts, glad Gerard wasn’t paying attention to him anymore. He was staring intently at the dark forest on his painting, still humming the Misfits tune to himself.

Being at Gerard’s was Frank’s favorite place in the world. He could read comics or play guitar to his heart’s content without any interruptions. In all the other places Frank spent his time, he was always tense and anxious, but at Gerard’s he was completely relaxed. The only time he came close to this feeling was when he snuck out to see shows. As amazing as Frank felt when he was lost in a mosh pit, getting pushed and shoved from all sides, he would give it up in a heart beat if it meant he could stay at Gerard’s house forever.

His bullying problems had stopped after that day in middle school when Gerard had scared off his bullies. They still sneered at him and gave the occasional shove, but no one seemed willing to do more. That changed when Frank started high school. No one knew Frank in that school, which meant no one knew about his association with the creepy neighbor either. Frank still dealt with assholes, but the greater population of the public school meant he still stayed generally anonymous. No one would actively seek him out to pick on.

Frank sighed when he glanced out the window. The sky was the dark blue that meant nighttime was around the corner, and also meant he had to leave so he was home before his mother.

He hopped off the counter and took his guitar into the living room, bending down to put it back in its case. He walked back into the kitchen with it slung around his shoulder, holding in his other hand the comics he wanted to take back with him. Gerard always let him borrow whatever he wanted for as long as he wanted, even keep some if he enjoyed them that much.

Gerard was still absorbed in his painting and hadn’t noticed Frank moving at all. Frank reached a hand out and shove his shoulder gently to get his attention. He looked up and smiled at Frank so genuinely it completely wiped away his ability to think. At least that’s what Frank thought must have happened for him to say what he did next.

“Why don’t you age?” He immediately knew it was a stupid, stupid thing to ask. It was none of his fucking business and he couldn’t believe he just blurted that out. He scrambled away from Gerard and began apologizing rapidly. “Sorry. Sorry. That was an accident. I shouldn’t have asked, I’m just going to leave.” Frank made a vague hand motion and headed for the door, not able to look at Gerard.

“I don’t know.”

Frank froze where he was, one foot out of the entrance to the kitchen, and slowly turned back round.

Gerard was looking away from him out the window, but Frank knew he wasn’t seeing anything.

“You don’t know?”

Gerard shook his head slowly and finally turned to face Frank. He had expected anger, or at least annoyance in his expression, but all Frank saw was a deep sadness in his favorite hazel orbs.

“I don’t know why I’m like this.”

Frank had no idea what to say. In the back of his mind there was a part of him that was relieved he hadn’t been imagining things. But the rest of his mind was just buzzing with nonsense, not even real thoughts. Eventually Gerard turned back to his painting and told Frank it was getting late.

Turning around and going back to his house was the last thing Frank wanted to do, but he couldn’t think of anything else.


When Frank was fifteen, he went on his first date. It was with Jamia, a girl he had been friends with since he started school. She was nice, genuine, and so much like him. She was also completely gorgeous. It finally occurred to Frank that there shouldn’t be any reason for him not to ask her out, so he just went for it and she agreed.

They had gone to the movies and then out to eat, which was corny, but it had been an awesome slasher film, and they had skipped eating in order for going to the park to make out. Frank had walked with her part way back to her house until they reached the part where they normally went in different directions. She didn’t live more than a few blocks from there, so Frank had offered to walk her. Jamia had insisted it was unnecessary and went on her way after a chaste kiss.

Frank had a smile on his face all the way home until he got to his house. He stood on his porch staring at the house next to his. He stared at the darkened windows and the general abandoned look of the place and felt an unexplainable sadness come over him. He did his best to push it away and walked inside.

And hour later, Frank had gotten the phone call.

Jamia’s mother had called him asking where he and Jamia were. She didn’t sound angry, actually she sounded pretty amused. Frank, on the other hand, felt his blood run cold.

Frank explained that Jamia wasn’t with him, that he had watched her as she walked off in the direction of her house.

Jamia’s Mom began freaking out. Jamia was a good kid, and she never went anywhere without telling her mother. The only explanation was that something happened to her.

After Frank got off the phone with her mother, he dropped his head in his hands, breathing heavily. He should have walked home with her. This wouldn’t have happened if he did. God, where was she? Who would do somethi-

Frank’s head snapped up so quickly he was surprised he didn’t hurt his neck. He forced on his beaten up converse and ran out the house, past his mother’s zombie like form on the couch.

He sprinted next door and ran up the porch, pounding on the door.

“Let me in right the fuck now!”

The door had barely opened before Frank pushed his way in. He pushed Gerard up against a wall by his shoulders and glared at him menacingly.

“Where is she?”

Gerard gave him a look he had never seen before. It was a look that made Frank’s stomach twist and his hair stand up at end.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Fuck you!” Frank screamed. “What did you do with her? Did you hurt her?”

Gerard still refused to answer him. “Answer me!” Frank banged his hand against the wall by Gerard’s head.

“Why should I? What are you going to do to me Frank?” His smirk became even more sinister. “Besides, even if you did manage to get rid of me, you’d never be able to find her.”

Frank stumbled back from Gerard and covered his face with his hands.

“Why? Why do you want to hurt her?”

Gerard’s expression transformed into the perfect picture of dark anger. “You don’t come over as often anymore, because you’re too busy hanging out with her. You don’t talk to me when I come over anymore, because you’re always up on the phone with her. Half the time you aren’t even home anyway, instead you’re at some show or the other with Jamia,” Gerard spat. “Fucking Jamia. Jamia. Stupid fucking pretty, funny, JAMIA!”

Frank watched as Gerard shook violently where he stood, nails digging deep into his palms. He kept repeating Jamia’s name like it was a curse.

Frank suddenly found himself completely unafraid. He wasn’t angry, or upset, he was just. He didn’t know what he was feeling. But whatever it was, it made Frank move slowly forward. Gerard didn’t move. His eyes were wild, and Frank wasn’t even sure if Gerard was seeing him.

Once he was close enough, Frank gently put his hands on Gerard’s cheeks. Gerard’s eyes focused on his again and Frank felt as though his soul was being ripped out of him. Gerard had stopped shaking, stopped cursing. Now he was just staring at Frank with wide, unwavering green and brown eyes. Those pretty pretty eyes Frank had always liked looking at.

“Gerard,” he whispered, with all the emotion he was feeling. He leaned in and touched his lips to Gerard’s softly, pressing up against him when he felt Gerard sag against him slightly.

Frank made a soft noise when Gerard’s hands came up and cupped his face tenderly, small drops of blood getting on his chin where Gerard’s nails had broken the skin.

They kissed for a little longer before Frank pulled away.

“Let her go.” Frank felt Gerard tense and he tightened his hold. “No. Listen to me. Let her go. She didn’t do anything. She’s a good person, she doesn’t deserve this. I won’t kiss her. I won’t kiss anyone else ever again. I promise you.” Frank could still see the anger on Gerard’s face and used the last card he had up his sleeve. “I need her. She’s one of the few friends I have in school. I don’t want to lose her.”

Frank knew he had won. Gerard wasn’t happy about it, but he was going to listen if he thought Frank really wanted it.

“No kissing no one else. And no more ditching me,” Gerard told him, pouting cutely.

“I couldn’t possibly want to kiss anyone else after kissing you. And I would never hurt you on purpose. Never.”

Gerard nodded and stepped away from Frank and pulled a set of keys from his pocket. “I think it’s best if you went home.”

Frank nodded but couldn’t resist leaning in one last time to kiss Gerard. It was worth it for the smile that appeared on his face.

Frank wasn’t worried as he laid in his bed that night. Gerard never got caught.

Jamia's mother called Frank an hour later. The police had found Jamia near the neighborhood. She was beaten up a little and the attacker had taken her money and phone, but she was otherwise okay.

Frank didn't even have to fake his big smile and giddy relief.


Late that night Frank heard a familiar noise from his window. Frank got up and collected his prize. Outside the window was a calendar with the current year crossed out and the year three years from now written on it. It was flipped to the month of October and all the dates had an x on it except for the 31st, which was surrounded by a smiling pumpkin. Frank realized it was the date of his eighteenth birthday. Across the crossed out dates in big black letters were the words 'NO KISSING.'

Frank laughed himself to sleep at the irony of Gerard's moral code.

Frank giggle as he listened to Gerard making commentary on the film they were watching. It was a random slasher movie they found on T.V and decided to watch from their spot curled on the couch.

“They’re all so fucking stupid. They always run upstairs. Where the fuck do they think they’re gonna go?”

Frank turned and faced Gerard, staring up at his face curiously.

“Do your victims do that?”

Gerard tore his eyes from the screen and looked down at Frank.

“Do what? Run around half naked with their fake boobs out?”

Frank laughed and jabbed Gerard in the side. “No. I mean run upstairs. Are people that stupid in real life?”

Gerard smiled his slightly disturbing grin.

“People are always that stupid. But I haven’t experienced that personally.” He reached in between them and pulled his sweatshirt up, pinching at the fat around his middle. “Does my fat ass look like I ever chase anyone?”

Frank scowled at that and pulled Gerard’s hand away from his stomach.

“Hey! Don’t call the people I love fat,” he said, laughing as Gerard squirmed away from his hand. “Besides, who cares if you’re a little chubby? I still think you’re beautiful.”

Gerard smiled his lopsided smile and glanced away shyly. Frank leaned up, aiming for Gerard’s mouth but Gerard pulled away.

“You know what I said.”

Frank groaned and flopped back down onto the couch. “I do know what you said, and it’s fucking stupid.”

“It’s not stupid, it’s important,” Gerard insisted. “You’re only fifteen Frank.”

“How old are you?” Frank realized how broad that question was relating to Gerard and fumbled to explain. “I mean, like. Forever wise. How old are you?”

Gerard shrugged. “I seem to be stuck at around 23, 24.”

Frank had a thoughtful expression. “That’s not THAT much older,” he said with a smirk, leaning up again.

Gerard pushed him back down. “Still too much older.”

Frank sighed and glared up at Gerard. “You suck.”

Gerard smirked. “No, the problem is you wish I would.”

Frank gaped and then hit Gerard in the arm.

“You’re such an asshole,” he muttered as he turned over to face the television again.


When Frank was 16 his mom got herself a new boyfriend. He was just as much of a useless drunk as her, and decided to make picking on Frank a sport. Derek hadn't verbally abused Frank plenty, but he had never laid a hand on him.

Until tonight.

Frank shouted as he received a final kick to the stomach and a nasty chuckle faded as his assailant left. In between the colors swimming in his vision and the buzzing in his brain, Frank had a glaring moment of clarity as a memory hit him full force.

You don't have to die to go to Hell.

Once Frank was able to see clearly and the noise in his head quieted, he pulled himself into a sitting position. He groaned and whimpered as he slowly stood up and walked over to his window. It was extremely painful getting out the window, but the thought of getting to the house across from him kept him going.

Every time Frank moved he was in pain. Pain would shoot down his whole left side. It was also radiating in his face and his back. He also whimpered every time he bent his right knee.

Gerard's house had never seemed so far away.

Frank had never been so relieved in his life when he finally climbed up the porch and knocked on the door with all the strength he could muster. It wasn’t long before the door swung open and Frank took in the sight of Gerard standing in the doorway.

All Frank managed to hear was a broken, "Oh Frankie," before he passed out.


Frank blinked his bleary eyes as he tried to shake the sleep from his mind. He had barely lifted a hand to rub them when he let out a groan. The pain that went through him was enough to remind him what had happened and where he was.

Frank lifted his head and saw Gerard sitting at the other end of the couch with Frank's feet in his lap. He was running a hand over them gently while smiling brightly at Frank.

"Good morning sunshine."

Frank's responding chuckle quickly transformed into a pained groaned.

"How bad is it?"

Gerard's eyes took on a saddened expression. "You have bruises all down your left side and stomach, but nothing's broken. You also have bruises on your back and face, and you knee has a cut on it where it looks like you ran into something."

Frank nodded and sighed as he covered his eyes with his arm. He was just enjoying the feel of Gerard's hands when a thought occurred to him.

He lifted his head again and looked at Gerard. He was staring back with a calm and collected expression.

"Are they. Did you, um. I mean. Did you...you know..."

Gerard's face became cold and his hands clenched into fists as realization dawned on him.

"I want to. You have no idea how much I want to. It would be so easy. I would just-" Gerard cut himself off by taking a deep breath. He clenched his eyes shut for a few seconds to control himself before opening them again and staring right at Frank.

"I want to, and if you ask me to I will. But I think this is your fight to end."

Frank had no words, so he just nodded as he lifted himself off the couch. Gerard reached his hand out, caring concern written all over his face but Frank just waved it away as he stood.

"Tell me how."

Gerard studied him for a moment before nodding. He got off the couch and went upstairs.

Frank was unsure if he was suppose to follow. After all the years he'd been coming here he had never been to any of the rooms besides the living room, kitchen, and bathroom. He figured Gerard had good reasons for not letting him, and he didn't want to find out.

Frank didn't have to think for long because soon Gerard was coming back down the stairs, a shiny metal object in his hand.

Frank gulped hard when he realized what it was. A gun. Gerard was not only standing there holding a gun but reaching a hand out for Frank to take it.

He did, turning it over in his hand slowly.
"Be careful, I took the safety off. You'd still need too cock it though."

Frank finally pulled his eyes away from the menacing object and looked at Gerard's sparkling eyes.

"I'm going to do this."

Gerard cocked his head questioningly. "Are you?"

Frank nodded once, and then again, more sure of himself this time.

"I'm going to do this."


Frank felt a twisted sense of disappointment when he saw Derek and his mom passed out on the couch. He wouldn't even be able to see the fear on their faces.

He raised his hand and tried his best to stop it from shaking. Then he pulled the trigger twice.

Frank stared at Derek's lifeless form. He still looked as though he was passed out, besides the blood gushing from his head. His mother's eyes were open though, from the first shot having woken her up. They were empty and lifeless, just as Frank always rememebered them.


Gerard was waiting for him in front of his car when Frank got back. Frank saw some boxes and his guitar in the backseat and knew what was going on.

He walked up to Gerard and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"You can't get caught," he said, looking up into Gerard's eyes in the dark.

One of Gerard's arms circled his own waist as the other threw his cigarette on the ground.

"That doesn't mean you can't." Gerard leaned down and kissed Frank thoroughly, both arms holding him tight.

Frank pulled away after a little while and smiled.

"I thought you said no kissing."

"You looked like you needed it." Gerard pulled away from Frank and opened the passenger door. "Come on. In."

Frank obliged and slid in, watching as Gerard did the same on the driver's side.

They had their seatbelts on and were about to pull out when Gerard stopped.

"Oh! One more thing!" Gerard said, his eyes glittering with mischief. He reached into the back seat and pulled something out, holding it up for Frank.

In Gerard's hand was Sir Twist in all his worn stuffed animal glory.

Frank laughed as he pulled the toy from Gerard's grasp. He ran his finger over the red thread before setting it on the dashboard.

"Can't forget him."

"Nope!" Gerard said, smiling at Frank before pulling out as Frank turned on the radio.

They had been driving for a few minutes before Frank heard a sound he never expected to hear.

Gerard was singing softly under his breath.

A/N: Oh boy. Let me know what you think.

the catholic vowel mother: Geewaydear_monday on April 20th, 2011 10:31 pm (UTC)
Oh, God, this is good. Left me breathless, which isn't something that happens too often. Sort of disturbing, yeah, but so good. I love how they get closer and closer, how Frank goes from being terrified to trusting him. All the little details like Mr Twist and Gerard leaving him things and the guitar totally make it. And, and, the ending, oh my god. I wish I could leave a more coherent comment, I really do, but my brain seems to have melted a bit.

So, um. This is amazing. Yeah. ♥
I'm a thunder breathing dragon cat!breathedeep222 on April 20th, 2011 11:16 pm (UTC)
This comment was perfectly fine! It made me sosososo happy that you enjoyed it this much!
guestwhozmphony on April 20th, 2011 10:33 pm (UTC)
Ho lord. When I read the summary I was just giddy. I've never read any of the Johnny comics, but this was just darling! I certainly might read them now though, if they are anything like this.

Here -gives internet cookie- This was brilliant :D
I'm a thunder breathing dragon cat!breathedeep222 on April 20th, 2011 11:21 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you liked it!

But no! The Johnny comics are nothing like this. They are amazing, and funny, but are NOTHING like this, I just want to be clear. They are really hilarious and amazing though, and there is lots of gore and Johnny being unnecessarily angry, so you should definitely check them out. The author/artist is Jhonen Vazquez, the creator of invader zim.
guestwhozmphony on April 20th, 2011 11:47 pm (UTC)
That's good enough for me :D I'll definitely check them out, I'm always looking for new reading material. Again, this was just adorable :D
felix_hoenikker on April 21st, 2011 03:32 am (UTC)
This is really good, I love it!
I'm a thunder breathing dragon cat!breathedeep222 on April 21st, 2011 04:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
Sir Horace Ignatious Tiddlywink III: frank/gerard 2kaylbunny on April 21st, 2011 07:16 am (UTC)
I love this so much. Gerard's twisted sense of morality, his concern for Frank and how Frank just rolls with it... Amazing.
I'm a thunder breathing dragon cat!breathedeep222 on April 21st, 2011 04:56 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'm happy you enjoyed it.
Clumsy: Briankillendaali on April 21st, 2011 01:52 pm (UTC)
This was so great! I was a little apprehensive about it, but I was happily surprised. I loved it, especially the ending and Gerard singing :)
I'm a thunder breathing dragon cat!breathedeep222 on April 21st, 2011 04:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I'm glad you weren't disappointed :)
kannibalkilljoykannibalkilljoy on April 21st, 2011 03:20 pm (UTC)
That was beast!
Oh man that was beast dude! I don't know the thing it's based on but I loved it. The fact that Frank just accepted the fact that Gerard kills people is funny as fuck but it doesn't ruin the story. Cool story bro XD
I'm a thunder breathing dragon cat!breathedeep222 on April 21st, 2011 05:00 pm (UTC)
Re: That was beast!
Haha thanks. I'm glad you found it amusing, since this story obviously can't be taken too seriously lol.

Your icon! I want! *granny hands*
I'm a thunder breathing dragon cat!breathedeep222 on April 21st, 2011 05:00 pm (UTC)
Re: That was beast!
kannibalkilljoykannibalkilljoy on April 22nd, 2011 04:21 pm (UTC)
Re: That was beast!
Lol got it from MCR's page on fanpop. You can use it if you want. Your cool. Mind if I friend you?
I'm a thunder breathing dragon cat!breathedeep222 on April 24th, 2011 08:22 pm (UTC)
Re: That was beast!
Sure you can. I don't use my lj very often though, but I'm always willing to chat. Sorry for the late response btw. I went to two MCR conerts in a row and i've been out of commission all day lol.
kannibalkilljoykannibalkilljoy on April 27th, 2011 10:51 am (UTC)
Re: That was beast!
Thanks XD. And wo teo in a row! I would love to do that. I went last October and February 2011. They are amazing live
I'm a thunder breathing dragon cat!breathedeep222 on April 30th, 2011 01:51 am (UTC)
Re: That was beast!
They really really are. Most exhausting 48 hours of my life lmao. But soo worth it haha. What other bands do you like?
kannibalkilljoykannibalkilljoy on May 3rd, 2011 02:57 pm (UTC)
Re: That was beast!
I'd do it =P. I like Panic! At the disco, Hollywood Undead, Fall out boy, 30 Seconds to mars etc... I listen to quite heavy stuff as well like Bullet for my valentine so I'm an all rounder. You?
emo_panda_101: Batmanemo_panda_101 on April 22nd, 2011 11:37 pm (UTC)
It's like you read my mind and I was surprised you didn't get lost in my freaky crazy thoughts! I've been waiting for a story like this for a super long time, since I first heard about a dream my friend was telling me! It was exactly what I thought it wold be! I love this and I love you for writing this! <3333333333

Frankie will love you forever <33333333333333
I'm a thunder breathing dragon cat!breathedeep222 on April 24th, 2011 08:23 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. What was your friend's dream about?
party_poison_11party_poison_11 on January 1st, 2012 10:00 pm (UTC)
Oh, oh, oh <3
Be still my beating heart!!
I love this in ridiculous amounts like you wouldn't believe!! Well, you might believe it .........
You are amazing!!!
DementedFoxdementedfox on May 4th, 2012 07:23 pm (UTC)
JOHNNY THE HOMICIDAL MANIAC??????! Omg, I love this so much! :D You have no idea just how awesome I think this is! It's better than nutella and unicorns! COMBINED!

This was super amazing!
torogirl15: Ray Torotorogirl15 on July 29th, 2012 12:08 am (UTC)
I love this. Honestly. You just made my day.
I greatly appreciated this piece. The character development was really impressive. Keep up the great work
casesandcapscasesandcaps on August 31st, 2012 07:05 am (UTC)
This was straight up amazing!
I love JTHM too and the "Do you have any disinfectant" line made me laugh.
I love how their relationship grows and how Gerard finally sings at the end.
Really awesome and really original as far as frerard fics go. Love it!
ilikebandsilikebands on September 21st, 2012 11:10 am (UTC)
I have no idea how I found this, but I'm glad I did because this was great. I love JTHM so this made me fangirl a bit. And the ending, oh the ending was great and not expected at all. This is defiantly something I'm going to come back and read again.
incendiereincendiere on January 21st, 2013 10:22 pm (UTC)
This was AWESOME! My only wish is that the story would continue, and we could meet Mikey and the rest of the gang in this 'verse of yours!
jj_podushka33 on August 24th, 2014 09:40 pm (UTC)
sorry. I use Google Translate
Hi, I'm from Russia. I want to translate and publish your story on the Russian site. I will point out this website and a link to your profile. Do you agree?